Over 40 and Sexy?

Over 40 and Sexy?


Men Love Me Because of My… Shoe Size

No woman does NOT want to be found attractive by someone. Whether that’s by a man or a woman, I think I can safely say that most of us want to make someone’s heart flutter a bit when they see us.

This flutter can be because of our brains, or our beauty (or both), but we do want to have this effect on someone.

Some of us work on the exterior for this effect – makeup, hair, clothes. And some women couldn’t give a rat’s ass about those things. 

I have a friend who just rolls out of bed in the morning, brushes her teeth and away she goes. She doesn’t comb her hair, put on makeup, or hell even look in the mirror. She couldn’t care less and I, who took an eyelash curler with me when I backpacked for a week through the backcountry, am both horrified and envious of this attitude.

I also think that the exterior stuff starts to lose its power over us as we get older. We aren’t so hung up on good looks or trying to look a certain way anymore. While I’m not quite at the level my friend is at I am waaaaaaaay less maintenance now at 50 than I have ever been.

And what makes my heart flutter now compared to when I first met LH is a whole new ballgame too.


Thirty years ago when we started dating I loved his rear end, his ability to make me laugh, and the fact he had his own car. (Side note: previous to LH I only dated men who fit this set criteria: tall, dark, handsome, no steady job, and 9 times out of 10 was an asshole.).  

Twenty-year-old PJ fell in love with LH due to physical attraction (and more), while 50-year-old PJ loves LH because of many reasons with the top five being: he can fix shit, he vacuums, he still makes me laugh, he still owns his own car (haha), and we can sit in comfortable silence – anytime, any day.

I don’t care anymore about how his butt looks, I care more about what his latest blood pressure reading is.

What he’s wearing doesn’t concern me either, and I’ve even stopped being horrified every time he goes to the store with his old man slippers on (you know the kind – plaid top, hard sole).

LH claims he loves me as a whole package, while I think it’s because I’m the only one who remembers the wifi password and knows how to troubleshoot his email when there’s a glitch.

But what he does not care about are my shoes or my shoe size… while other men, strangely, do.

There are scores of female fitness YouTubers who captivate men because of their bodies, their hair, their face… I seem to captivate men because of my shoe size.

A few years ago I had one sad soul who messaged me on Facebook for almost a full year asking me about the runners I was wearing in whatever latest workout I released. He wanted to know all about them and what size I wore.

Bravo to him for hanging in there for almost a year because I never messaged back or even acknowledged that I received his DM’s (rule #1 – never engage). 

And just recently a new one popped on the YouTube feed who wanted to know what size shoes I wore. I had to shake my head. 

I don’t get bent out of shape with these comments, you can’t when you’re online. I find them funny – and in this instance, I found it EXTREMELY funny that my sex appeal starts (and ends) in a pair of 9.5’s.

I just chuckle and I move on.


PJ ox

WHY I WANT A HOT FLASH… read here.






PJ ox

Over 40 and Sexy?

Oldest Person


Oldest One in the Room

“What’s it like? To be the oldest person here?”, she asked. 

Let me punch you in the throat, I think to myself when I look at her because it probably feels the same. 

This question was posed to me last summer when I attended (as a participant) a fitness class – where, as you guessed it, I was the oldest one there. 

It was the first time, in my 50 years on this planet, where I was the oldest person in the room. And I know this for a fact because I asked the one guy who I thought was at least my age or a few years older, and it turned out that he’s actually five years younger than me. I wish I could say I was also the wisest one there… but I will never be that, in any room, at any time, no matter what my age is.

But in this room, on this particular day, I was the oldest and I was surrounded by people who wouldn’t be able to sing the chorus of “2 Legit to 2 Quit” with me (and do the awesome hand moves to accompany said rhyme). They also probably never heard of Jack Palance let alone have seen his one-arm push-up feat on the Oscars – at age 73. And, this group would never get my jokes about dialling up for the internet either (When I was your age the internet went “Skaweeerurweeert”😆.). 

I was also in a room where I wasn’t the fastest.

And this was an eye-opener for me. 

You see, in the past, I’ve been accused of being competitive. I don’t think I am, I just prefer the view from the front of the pack that’s all, but here I was at mid-pack and sometimes at the back of the pack with my inside voice cheering my 50-year old ass on (which oddly enough sounds like Morgan Freeman). 

Now, where younger-PJ would have just about killed herself to be the fastest, 50-year old PJ, well… she didn’t care.


This amazed me. This sense of “who gives a f*ck” as people were passing me. This was so unlike me.

Could this mean that I was evolving? Was I getting, dare I type it, more carefree with age?

LH says “thank God” that we are less inclined to keep up with those who are younger than us. He says life goes too fast and we need to slow down. 

When I point out that that is so “cliche”, he says there’s a reason it’s a cliche, it’s because LIFE DOES GO TOO FAST (his voice always goes up an octave when he has a point to be made). And now as we get older, he continues to tell me, we can finally get off the treadmill – he always uses fitness equipment metaphors with me because he knows that’s how you can hold my attention.

I think I agree with him… to a degree.

While I am totally a-okay with slowing down, I am not going to get off the treadmill entirely. Sure, I’ll bring the speed down a notch – but I’ll also add some incline to make up for the lost speed – because that’s how I roll. 

And if you’re wondering how I responded to the sweet twenty-something-year-old asking me how I felt about being the oldest in the room. Well, I kept it violence-free and smiled and told her that I could still kick her ass.

PJ ox

WHY I WANT A HOT FLASH… read here.






PJ ox

Over 40 and Sexy?

I Want a Hot Flash


I Want a Hot Flash – and other stupid things I’ve said

I’ve never thought too much about getting older until I was. For instance, I wish at age 30 I said to myself “Okay PJ this could be as good as it gets for your metabolism, so live it up, girlfriend”.  Instead, there I was like an idiot counting calories.

I also wish I could go back to age 40 so I could really appreciate the ability to read the small print. Screw trying to fit into smaller clothes, I just want to be able to read the smaller print. Do you feel me with this?

“Youth is wasted on the young,” they say, and I concur.


I’m not that old..

I’m 50 (at the time of writing this) which means that I’m at that magical age where I remember what I used to be able to do because I can kinda still do most of it – I just need longer breaks and aids now.

I also catch myself playing the “Pros vs Cons” scenario in my head for a lot of stuff that I would just go and do in my 20’s and 30’s.

Case in point the other night when I was lying on the couch watching a movie and I really wanted popcorn,  but I also really didn’t feel like getting up.

Young PJ would have just got up and made popcorn. 50-year old PJ had to determine if the reward was worth all the effort.

So I weighed the pros (popcorn), versus the cons (moving my dog, getting up, walking into the kitchen, making the popcorn, lying down again, only to get back up again because I forgot to get a beverage – and you need a beverage when you are eating popcorn – calling my dog, coaxing him back on the couch with me, only to kick him off again because now I have to pee).

In that whole scenario, the winner is obvious – stay on the couch and get LH to make the popcorn embarassed


I Would Love a Hot Flash…

Back in my 20’s, 30’s and early 40’s I was a full-time personal trainer. This was my career, not a side gig. There were no online programs, or YouTube channels, or studios. It was me and a large clientele base that was mainly women in their 40’s and 50’s.

And most of these women had one thing in common… they were menopausal.

We’d be squatting away and my clients would talk about everything (when they had the breath to – that is). Hot flashes, sleepless nights, vaginal dryness, mood swings – nothing was left out and I started to learn all about menopause at the young innocent age of 25.

But, it never phased me because I believed (as all stupid 25-year-old’s do), that this would not happen to me.

In fact, I even tempted fate on a regular basis and would tell these women that I couldn’t wait for a hot flash to happen.

You see I was tired of being so bloody cold all of the time.

I also had had enough of LH jokingly (but not really) rubbing his hands together quickly to get them warm every time he went to hold mine. Or, him looking at me very seriously and telling me that if he ever had a heart attack I was to just put my cold hands on his chest and that should shock him back to life.

Hardy, har har LH.


Throat Punches…

So a hot flash sounded amazing to me.

The women I trained were very kind to me whenever I made these declarations. Whereas the PJ-now would probably throat punch the PJ-then, these amazing women just raised their eyebrows politely at me.

Do I enjoy hot flashes now you wonder?

Well, if you are wondering this then you are either A) not menopausal, or B) a dude who is on the wrong blog (and bravo if you are a dude and you have reached this far. I would have thought I’d lost you at vaginal dryness.).

Hot flashes are not similar to that lovely warm heat that the stones on a fireplace give off on a cold evening. Or, that perfect temperature you get your nightly bath set at.

No, they are an inner inferno of demon hell that happens at weird and wonderful times.

Like, for instance, standing in the line at the bank with your winter coat zipped up and your mandatory mask pushing that hot breath of yours back into your already-on-fire body. A mask that you can’t whip off because it’s, well against the law right now.

Hot flashes seem to find the most inconvenient time possible, similar to that of a telephone call spammer minus the inability to hang up on a hot flash.

But… no one has died from a hot flash, that’s recorded anyways (there may have been some homicidal thoughts during though), and women have been hot flashing since the dawn of time.

So I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone, and if my sisterhood before me endured this BS then I can too.


PJ ox






PJ ox

Bodyweight Home Workout

Bodyweight Home Workout

Bodyweight Home Workout for Women Over 40

This is the most unique workout you will ever do (self-prescribed😂). You are also going to have so much fun with this workout… guaranteed.

Now, I can’t tell you why.

I just need you to trust me.

So, push play and find out for yourself why this workout is so damn unique and so much fun!

I look forward to reading your comments 🙌🏼!



I tell ya in the first 45 seconds


1. Push up with shoulder tap (or wall push-ups)
2. High knees shuffle (jump or no jump)
3 x 30sec

3. L leg bridge
4. L leg single leg deadlift with jump (optional)
3 x 30sec

5. R leg bridge
6. R leg single leg deadlift with jump (optional)
3 x 30sec

7. Plank with taps (or v sit if planks are hard on the shoulders)
8. Jump up & over (or step)
3 x 30sec

9. Squat hold & touch heels
10. Skaters (with or without jump)
3 x 30sec






PJ ox

The Most Useless Exercise Ever

The Most Useless Exercise Ever

The Most Useless Exercise Ever

Einstein is quoted as having said that the definition of insanity “is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

This quote leads me to beg the question then, why do people still continue to do abdominal crunches and expect a 6-pak and a functional midsection in return?

If crunches were the answer to a toned tummy all of us would have them.

But alas we don’t, do we? Canada is currently sitting at a 54% overweight and obesity rate (Stats Can 2014) – with a lot of that fat around our bellies.

Something is clearly not working with all these crunches that we have been doing.


Crunches – why they don’t work

First off, let’s review why abdominal crunches don’t work and are the most useless exercise ever.

Number one: you can’t spot train.

This simply means that you cannot take a certain section of your body, like your abs, and perform repetitions isolating that muscle group in hopes of decreasing the size of that body part.

You can try all you want.

Heck you can even stare at your belly while you are doing your crunches and yell at it – but it still won’t work.


Well, basic physiology tells us that fat is utilized as a fuel source, and when we need that fuel we start burning it from various locations throughout the body. Not from one certain location.

You cannot burn fat from one particular area.

Instead, you gotta keep working at training your whole body and slowly the fat in the area you want reduced will start to go away (that is, of course, if you are eating properly too).

Number two: flexing forward is kind of a dumb move.

One of the functions of the abdominals is to flex the spine forward. That flexing activity (which is essentially what we do when we perform a crunch or a curl-up) is not functional at all though.

Think about it. How often do you actually roll the spine while on your back, on a day-to-day basis?

I can think of one time and one time only – to get out of bed in the morning.

And, while the thought of perfecting that movement is great, it’s not really what I think a lot of us have in mind when we go to the gym.

The abdominals are actually used (during our waking hours) as stabilizers to the spine.

Now, please I understand that I am being very general here.

What the heck do our abs do?

The abs are also used throughout the day for twisting, bending, assistance on breathing as well as flexing.

But, if you were to break it down percentage wise what the abdominal muscles did during most of their waking hours the clear winner would be stabilizing and assisting our spine and our posture.

Taking that into consideration you can now see why an abdominal crunch will not help us out in daily living and provide even less help in sport.

More preferable exercises are ones that lengthen the body and then use the abdominals to hold that position, such as:



Boat pose

Mountain climbers

We also need exercises that ask the abdominals to assist in stabilizing the spine such as:





Power cleans

And finally, we need exercises in our routine that also engage the rotational and twisting ability of our midsection. These include:

Reverse woodchops

Anti-rotational movements with tubing or the Rip Trainer

Russian twists with the medicine ball – careful with form though!

Med ball throw downs

Side plank tempo drills


If want to perform a crunch

If you want to perform the odd crunches in your routine then I recommend the following.

The following ab exercises were tested and rated by the American Council on Exercise (ACE).

They sponsored a study to see which ab exercise fired up the rectus abdominus (the long, flat muscle muscle extending the front of the body), and the obliques (our waist muscles) the best.

For strengthening the rectus abdominus, the 13 exercises were ranked most to least effective:

1. Bicycle maneuver
2. Captain’s chair
3. Crunches on exercise ball
4. Vertical leg crunch
5. Torso Track
6. Long arm crunch
7. Reverse crunch
8. Crunch with heel push
9. Ab Roller
10. Hover
11. Traditional crunch
12. Exercise tubing pull
13. Ab Rocker

For strengthening the obliques, the 13 exercises were ranked most to least effective:

1. Captain’s chair
2. Bicycle maneuver
3. Reverse crunch
4. Hover
5. Vertical leg crunch
6. Crunch on exercise ball
7. Torso Track
8. Crunch with heel push
9. Long arm crunch
10. Ab Roller
11. Traditional crunch
12. Exercise tubing pull
13. Ab Rocker

Why You Shouldn’t Do Abdominal Crunches:

  • Because you curl your upper body forward they reinforce the slumped sitting posture
  • They compress the (lower) lumbar segments
  • Crunches can actually weaken the pelvic floor
  • Because of the forward flexion movement they restrict the excursion of the diaphragm and hamper breathing
  • Can cause shearing strains across the high lumbar segments
  • Crunches, especially legs supported full sit-ups, over use the hip flexor muscles
  • Ab crunches tend to also over use the rectus abdominis muscle at the expense of the obliques and TA (your deep abdominal muscle)

Final thoughts

And last, but not least, if getting rid of that fat is what you really want, then you need to take a long hard look at what you are eating.

Great abs are actually cooked in the kitchen first and then trained hard in the gym second.







PJ ox

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