How I Overcame Failure

How I Overcame Failure

How Failing Made Me Happy

I have a story about failure to tell you. A story of me “failing” and how it actually changed my life… for the better. 

Now, why am I here to talk about my failures? Or, more specifically why should you even care? 

Because fear of failure is a huge buzzkill when trying to move forward and achieve your goals.

My hope is that through sharing my story with you perhaps you will re-think something that you have wanted to do, but have resisted because you were afraid of failing.  

My hope is that I can show you that sometimes failing is pretty effing awesome.

First, let me be totally clear with you – we don’t actually fail. Ever. Failing is a mindset I want you to get rid of. Instead, what we do is learn.

I will dive into my personal story first, and then offer you 3 tips that helped me overcome failure and allowed me to keep on learning. 

15 years ago I sold a personal training business that was the largest of its kind where I live. I had a team of 15 trainers, reception staff, we were incorporated, it was making money. Until one of my trainer’s photocopied my client list, partnered with one of my members (he was the money), enticed half of my other trainers to leave and then opened up up a studio across the street.

In the course of 60 days, our revenue plummeted by 75%.

Yup. Who knew fitness could be so cutthroat.

The stress, at the time, was unbelievable. The trainer’s that left, I thought they were my friends and this broke my heart. However, I had a support group – my husband and a coach – and I got through it, sold the business and I can report that today not one of those trainers is still in the industry. And the one who opened up the studio, across the street from mine… well his money man left him because he never hit any of the revenue targets he predicted he would, and he is also not in the industry anymore either.

But at the time people thought I was a failure. We live in a smallish community and it didn’t take a genius to deduct what had happened.

And I am glad it happened… because it started me on my journey of being online.

If I hadn’t had that experience I would not be sitting here right now chatting with you. This trainer opening across the street from me was a pivoting point in my life that changed the direction of where I was going and has taught me so much.

My next failure happened just last month.

I used to have a boutique fitness studio, called The Studio, with small group classes. It was very successful, I had a new team there, a manager and things were humming along pretty good until the pandemic hit.

Due to social distancing protocols, we were forced to close our doors and live stream our classes. 

But… since I had a business in the past (that one I just talked about) that ran low on cash flow (see, learning from my experiences) I knew that I did not want to be under that kind of stress again. So, I crunched the numbers for our business, I also talked with people who are smarter than me, took a hard look at my industry, and I decided to close the business completely.

Again, on the outside, it looked like I had failed and was forced to close. I can assure you I was not forced, it was a choice, and I can also sit here right now and tell you that I cannot remember a time in the past 4 years while owning The Studio of ever being this happy.

Yes, I liked the Studio, yes I liked the people, but it wasn’t until I shut it down that I realized that I love being online more and that trying to do both businesses for these past 4 years was killing me.

So, that is why I am so happy I “failed” with The Studio.

Of course, each of these required a few things to help me process my feelings and to help me to move on. Let me explain the three:

First, I recommend you always a support group. Have at least one person in your life that you can talk to, who is in your corner,, and who can tell it to you straight. If you don’t have someone, rent someone then. And by that, I mean a therapist or a coach. I have used both and they have been life-changing for me

Second, don’t worry about being afraid of failing, be more fearful of not trying. Don’t give your future self ammunition for a pity party because you didn’t try something. This is a big one in my playback. I do not want to have future PJ pissed off at me for not going after something because I was afraid of failing it. I’m more afraid of her than I am of failing. 

And finally, remind yourself that you going to be okay no matter how the cookie crumbles (just so long as it’s a chocolate chip cookie… just saying). When these moments that I just touched upon happened in my life my daily mantra was “I am going to be okay”. 

And as that cookie is crumbling smile, remind yourself that you’re tough and you will get through this and that tomorrow will be better. You’ve got to rev up the positive self-talk in situations like this because you will believe whatever you tell yourself.

So, tell yourself to be happy and grateful for all the good things that you do have, and all the problems you know you don’t have.

Life is filled with screw-ups, I truly believe that we are supposed to fail sometimes… so embrace those moments, learn from them, and maybe use them as pivots like I did to change the direction of your life.

Now, it’s your turn…

Have you ever been scared of failing?  Do you have any other thoughts about this video?  I’d love to hear from you.

Leave a comment on the video and share something with me. 

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Strength & Mobility Training for the Upper Body

Strength & Mobility Training for the Upper Body

Strength & Mobility Training for the Upper Body for Women Over 40

All levels, strength, and mobility workout for the UPPER BODY for women over 40.

⁣This all-levels, strength & mobility workout for the upper body will leave you feeling strong and amazing.

The strength portion of this workout is a true strength workout, too. So, please make sure you are using heavy enough dumbbells. We also superset the same muscle groups for the first 4 moves – hyper-targeting all the muscles pecs and back muscles.

The workout is broken up like so: for 30-minutes we target the muscles of the upper body, with extra emphasis on the arms, and finish off with 10-minutes of dynamic and static mobility and flexibility work for the shoulders and spine (with some extra loving to your thoracic – mid-back).

 

TOOLS NEEDED

A pair of heavy & moderate
Stability ball (however, if you don’t own one don’t worry! I show you how you can easily do the exercises without on.)

THE WORKOUT

1. Chest press
2. Chest flys
3 x 40sec

3. 1 arm row
4. Same arm reverse fly
5. Other arm row
6. Other arm reverse fly
2 x 40sec

⁣7. 1 DB tricep skull crushers
8. 1 DB standing hammer curl
3 x 40sec

9. Tricep kickbacks (alt)
10. Bicep curls (alt)
3 x 40sec

Active Mobility Drills:
11. I, Y, T
12. Prone flys

Mobility & Flexibility exercises

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Knee Friendly Cardio for Home

Knee Friendly Cardio for Home

Resistance Band Workout For All Levels for Women Over 40

Perfect for beginners, or for people with sensitive knees. No squats, no lunges and no up and down off the floor exercises.

 This knee-friendly cardio workout for home is perfect for beginners, or for people with sensitive knees.

There are absolutely no squats or lunges, as well as no up and down exercises off the floor.

All the cardio is done standing and then we head to the floor for two awesome moves that will help strengthen the muscles around the knees, but without aggravating the knees. After that, we finish off with a lovely little stretch.

TOOLS NEEDED

nothing

THE WORKOUT

1. Tap out jacks
2. 4 side leg lifts to 4 repeater with twist
3. Other leg
4. Kickstand 1-legged deadlift x3 to 1 kick
5. Other leg
6. Hamstring curl combo
1 x 60sec
1 x 50sec
1 x 40sec

Mat Work:
7. Straight leg quad killers
2 x 30sec ea leg

8. 1-leg bridges
2 x 30sec

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How to Create a Workout Plan for Home

How to Create a Workout Plan for Home

How to Create a Workout Plan for Home for Women Over 40

Below are my show notes for the video above:

WANT TO LEARN HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN WORKOUT PLAN. THERE IS A METHOD TO THE MADNESS, SO STICK AROUND WHILE I REVEAL 3 TRAINER SECRETS ON PROGRAM DESIGN AND WHAT YOU NEED TO DO SEE RESULTS.

TIP 1: YOU NEED TO DEFINE WHAT THE HELL YOUR GOAL IS?

  •   DO YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT?
  •   BUILD MUSCLE?
  •   RUN YOUR FIRST 10KM?

YOUR GOALS WILL DETERMINE WHAT YOUR MAIN FORM OF FITNESS SHOULD BE.

FOR EXAMPLE: IF YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT? THE STUDIES AND EVIDENCE (FOR WOMEN OVER 40) ALL POINT TO STRENGTH TRAINING & HIIT AND TABATA TYPE WORKOUTS AS THE MOST EFFECTIVE.

BUT, IF YOUR GOAL IS TO RUN A 10KM, A WEEKLY PLAN OF HIIT AND TABATAS (WHICH ARE SHORTER WORKOUTS) WON’T HELP YOU AS MUCH A WEEKLY PLAN OF RUNNING LONGER DISTANCES.

DEFINE YOUR GOAL AND THEN…

TIP #2 

FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH TIME YOU HAVE TO WORKOUT IN A WEEK.

IF YOU HAVE AN HOUR A DAY, AWESOME, BUT IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY, JOB, LIFE, YOU MAY ONLY BE TO FIT IN A FEW 30-MIN WORKOUTS A WEEK. 

WITH THAT SAID, THOUGH, YOU NEED TO BE BRUTALLY HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR EXPECTATIONS AS WELL.

IF YOU ONLY HAVE 30-MIN, A FEW DAYS A WEEK AVAILABLE TO YOU DON’T EXPECT TO LOOK LIKE JENNIFER LOPEZ.

THE AMOUNT OF EFFORT AND TIME IS WHAT WILL DICTATE YOUR END RESULT.

BUT I DON’T YOU TO OVER ESTIMATE YOUR TIME AVAILABLE EITHER… THINKING ‘AHHH I’LL DO AN HOUR EVERYDAY BECAUSE A 6 PACK IS UNDER THERE, I KNOW IT”. ONLY TO DROP OUT AFTER A FEW WEEKS BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY DO NOT HAVE AN HOUR A DAY TO WORKOUT.

IF YOU WATCHED MY VIDEO A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO ON THE ONE THING YOU NEED TO DO TO REACH YOUR FITNESS GOALS THAN YOU KNOW THAT CONSISTENCY IS QUEEN. YOU NEED TO BE CONSISTENT WITH YOUR WORKOUTS IN ORDER TO SEE RESULTS.

I ALSO DO NOT RECOMMEND WORKING OUT 7 DAYS A WEEK. AT THE BARE MINIMUM YOU SHOULD HAVE 1 DAY OF REST FROM STRUCTURED EXERCISE.

YOU SEE YOU DON’T ACTUALLY BUILD YOUR MUSCLES IN THE GYM. THEY ARE BROKEN DOWN IN THE GYM, AND THEN GET REBUILT STRONGER AND DENSER WHILE YOU ARE RESTING.

STRENGTH WORKOUTS YOU WANT TO GIVE YOURSELF 48 HOURS IN BETWEEN YOUR LIFT DAYS (IF YOU ARE PERFORMING TOTAL BODY STRENGTH WORKOUTS). 

A TYPICAL TRAINING REGIME IS M/W/F OR T/TH/SAT AND THEN ON YOUR OFF DAYS FROM STRENGTH TRAINING YOU CAN ADD SOME CARDIO – BE IT LONG, SLOW DISTANCE, OR HIITS OR TABATAS.

I, PERSONALLY, TAKE 2 DAYS OFF EVERY WEEK, AND I PROGRAM MY PATREON COMMUNITY’S WORKOUT PLANS WITH 5 DAYS A WEEK TOO, WITH AN OPTIONAL CARDIO/HIIT WORKOUT THO IF THEY ARE FEELING EXTRA GROOVY THAT WEEK.

WHATEVER YOUR TIME COMMITMENT IS THOUGH, DEVELOPING THE MOST EFFICIENT WORKOUT IS CRUCIAL.

BECAUSE WHY SPEND 2 HOURS WORKING OUT IF YOU CAN GET JUST AS MUCH ACCOMPLISHED IN 30-45 MIN? 

THIS LEADS ME TO MY FINAL TIP – TIP #3 – TRAIN SMARTER, NOT HARDER.

THIS INVOLVES CHOOSING EXERCISES FOR BEST RESULTS, AND FOR EFFICIENCY OF TIME. SO YOU DO TRAIN SMARTER.

HERE’S MY PERSONAL FORMULA FOR WHEN I PROGRAM MY TOTAL BODY WORKOUTS ON YOUTUBE, AS WELL AS MY OWN PERSONAL WORKOUTS:

PICK ONE EXERCISE THAT TARGETS THE PUSH MUSCLES – WHICH ARE THE CHEST, TRIS & SHOULDERS, FOLLOW THAT IMMEDIATELY WITH ONE THAT HITS THE LEGS, AND THEN RIGHT AWAY ONE THAT HITS THE PULL MUSCLES – BACK MUSCLES & BICEPS. PERFORM 3-5 SETS, USING A WEIGHT THAT WILL GIVE YOU FEEDBACK ABOUT 75% OF WAY IN, AND NO REST. 

AN EXAMPLE OF THIS IN WORK IS:

PUSH UPS
SQUAT
PULL UP (OR 2 ARM ROW)

THIS IS ALSO CALLED SUPERSETTING. AND I LOVE THIS TYPE OF PROGRAMMING BECAUSE IT GIVES EACH MUSCLE GROUP AMPLE TIME TO REST – SO YOU CAN REALLY NAIL FORM, AND LIFT HEAVY ENOUGH WITH EACH SET. IT HITS ALL THE MUSCLES, GIVING YOU A BALANCED WORKOUT AND… IT IS ALSO A SUPER EFFICIENT WAY TO TRAIN BECAUSE YOU AREN’T JUST SITTING AROUND WAITING FOR YOUR LEGS TO RECOVER AFTER YOUR SQUAT. INSTEAD, YOU MOVING TO ANTHER EXERCISE THAT TARGETS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSCLE GROUP, LIKE YOUR BACK MUSCLES IN THIS EXAMPLE.

I USUALLY PROGRAM MY OWN WORKOUTS LIKE THIS AND AFTER MY SETS I WOULD DO ANOTHER SERIES OF COMPOUND MOVEMENTS, LIKE ABOVE, TARGETING THE LARGER MUSCLES AGAIN, WITH AN EMPHASIS ON THE GLUTES AND HAMSTRING FOR LEGS – SINCE A SQUAT IS MORE QUAD DOMINATE.

I ALSO SUCK AT PUSH-UPS, AND WANT TO IMPROVE THEM, WHICH IS WHY I ADD THOSE AT THE BEGINNING OF MY WORKOUT. WHEN I HAVE THE MOST ENERGY.

THE NEXT SERIES OF MOVES COULD INVOLVE:

CHEST PRESS
STEP UPS
REVERSE FLYS

FOR REP COUNT WATCH MY VIDEO ABOUT HOW TO PICK A REP COUNT FOR YOUR GOALS – IVE ATTACHED THE LINK IN THE DESCRIPTION DOWN BELOW. 

FROM THERE YOU CAN START WORKING YOUR WAY TO THE SMALLER MUSCLES LIKE THE GLUTE MED (OUTER HIPS), TRICEPS, SHOULDERS, BICEPS.

SINCE THESE MUSCLES ASSISTED YOU IN THE COMPOUND MOVEMENTS IT’S A GREAT IDEA TO PROGRAM THEM AT THE END OF YOUR WORKOUT, SO YOU DON’T BURN THEM OUT – CAUSE THEY’RE SMALLER AND WILL BURN OUT FASTER.

WHEN EVERYTHING IS TRAINED, AND IF YOU HAVE TIME, ADD SOME CORE WORK THEN. HOWEVER, IF YOU WORK WITH DUMBBELLS, TRX, TUBING, MED BALLS, AND EVEN BODYWEIGHT, KNOW THAT YOUR CORE FIRES UP ON EACH AND EVERY MOVEMENT PATTERN.

IF YOU DO WANT TO ADD ISOLATED CORE WORK, DO IT AT THE VERY END OF YOUR WORKOUT. YOU SEE WE WANT YOUR CORE TO BE STRONG TO STABILIZE YOUR SPINE THROUGH YOUR WORKOUT, AND NOT PRE-FATIGUED.

BUT…. IF YOU ARE AN EXPERIENCED EXERCISER THEN THROW ALL THAT OUT THE WINDOW AND MAYBE START WITH YOUR CORE, HIT THE SHOULDERS AND ARMS AND THEN MOVE ONTO YOUR COMPOUND EXERCISES.

THIS IS A GREAT A WAY TO BREAKTHROUGH ANY PLATEAUS.

BUT, I’VE SAID THIS BEFORE. DON’T OVERTHINK THIS TO THE POINT OF PARALYSIS.

EVERY STEP FORWARD, NO MATTER HOW SMALL, WILL GET YOU TO YOUR GOAL.

AND FYI: IF WANT ME TO PROGRAM YOUR WORKOUTS, COME AND JOIN US ON PATREON.

 

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How to Lose Weight When You’re Over 40

How to Lose Weight When You’re Over 40

How To Lose Weight When You’re Over 40

Below are my show notes:

DIETING IS THE WORST THING TO DO IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR PERMANENT WEIGHT LOSS. FIND OUT WHAT DOES WORK, AND WORKS AMAZINGLY FOR ANY WOMAN, OF ANY AGE.

I RECEIVED AN OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF EMAILS AND MESSAGES FROM WOMEN WHO WANT ADVICE ON THE BEST WAY TO LOSE FAT AS WE GET OLDER.

THESE ARE PAIN POINTS THAT A LOT OF WOMEN HAVE I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU ABOUT HOW I’VE SHIFTED AWAY FROM WEIGHT LOSS, AND MORE TOWARDS HOW I FEEL BECAUSE THAT’S A FAR MORE IMPORTANT INDICATOR TO A LIFE WELL LIVED. I WILL ALSO GIVE YOU 1 SIMPLE TIP TO HELP YOU GET OFF THE DIET ROLLER COASTER.

WHEN I WAS 45 I ENTERED A FITNESS COMPETITION AND WAS, WHAT LOOKED LIKE ON THE OUTSIDE, THE BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE. INSIDE I WAS HOT MESS.

I HAD ZERO ENERGY, ZERO FRIENDS (THEY DON’T CALL IT CARB-RAGE FOR NOTHING), AND ZERO ZEST FOR LIFE. ALL I HAD THE ENERGY TO DO ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS WAS FOOD PREP, COUNT MY MACROS, DO MY JOB, DO MY TWICE A DAY WORKOUTS, FANTASIZE ABOUT WHEN I COULD EAT AGAIN, ALL WHILE SITTING THERE IN A CALORIE-DEFICIT DAZE.

AFTER THE COMPETITION I QUICKLY GAINED THE WEIGHT BACK PLUS MORE WHICH HAD ME SINK INTO A FUNK AND A DEPRESSION – BECAUSE I COULD NOT MAINTAIN THE PJ THAT HAD LOST THE WEIGHT. MAYBE YOU UNDERSTAND ME? IF YOU’VE EVER BEEN ON A DIET AND “FELL OFF IT” THEN YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW I FELT.

I WAS FEELING DEFEATED, AND WHEN YOU REALLY PULL THE LAYERS BACK A LOT OF WOMEN, MYSELF INCLUDED AT THE TIME, FEEL WE AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH UNLESS WE ARE AT A CERTAIN SIZE.

WE WILL EVEN BELIEVE THAT WE ARE DOING OURSELVES GOOD BY “REWARDING” OURSELVES FOR LOSING WEIGHT. A LOT OF WEIGHT LOSS ADVICE ADVISES THAT. HIT YOUR TARGET AND TREAT YOURSELF TO [INSERT ANYTHING HERE… DRESS, SCARF, EARRINGS, SPA TREATMENT]. 

BUT INSTEAD, THIS IS REPEATEDLY TELLING OURSELVES THAT HOW WE LOOK NOW IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. YOU DON’T DESERVE THAT FACIAL, YOU’VE GOT TO LOSE 10LB FIRST.

THANKFULLY I GAVE MY HEAD A GOOD SHAKE AND THIS IS WHEN MY MINDSET STARTED TO SHIFT.

I REALIZED THAT I WAS AT MY UNHEALTHIEST WHEN I WAS STANDING ON THAT STAGE IN A FITNESS COMPETITION.

YOU SEE THE LIFESTYLE NEEDED TO MAINTAIN WHAT I HAD ACHIEVED WAS FAR TOO RESTRICTIVE TO CONTINUE. AND THAT’S NOT HEALTHY.

WHAT IS HEALTHY? HEALTHY IS NOURISHING YOUR BODY SO IT HAS THE ENERGY TO DO WHAT YOU WANT IT TO DO.

HEALTHY IS MOVING YOUR BODY BECAUSE YOU WANT TO, NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE TRYING TO BURN CALORIES OR PUNISH IT FOR EATING TOO MUCH.

HEALTHY IS ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE NO MATTER WHAT YOUR PANT SIZE IS TELLING US.

HEALTHY IS ALSO NOT FEELING GUILTY WHEN YOU EAT PASTA, DRINK TOO MUCH WINE, SIT ON THE COUCH… OR DO ALL OF THE ABOVE. BECAUSE WHEN YOU HAVE A HEALTHY MINDSET YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DO DO THOSE THINGS, THEN THE NEXT DAY YOU BALANCE THAT SHIT OUT AND HAVE A SALAD AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER.

IN THE 25 YEARS OF BEING A TRAINER, WORKING WITH THOUSANDS OF WOMEN, I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT HEALTHY, AND THIS INCLUDES WEIGHT LOSS AND WEIGHT MAINTENANCE, IS ACHIEVED WITH AN 80/20 APPROACH TO LIFE. 80% WE NOURISH, 80% WE MOVE, EVERYDAY WE APPRECIATE.

WHEN YOU APPLY THIS ONE SIMPLE RULE TO YOUR LIFE,80/20, YOU WILL FREE YOURSELF FROM THE BS THAT COMES FROM BEING ON A DIET.

YOU WILL FIND THAT YOU EAT MORE SENSIBLY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT RESTRICTING YOURSELF OR TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU CAN NEVER HAVE CANDY, WINE, OR PIZZA AGAIN. YOU MAY FIND YOU EAT LESS OF THOSE BAD FOODS TOO. BECAUSE IF WE GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO EAT ANY FOOD WE WANT, WE LOSE THAT INTENSE CRAVING FOR THAT FOOD – WHICH DURING A DIET WILL QUITE OFTEN LEAD TO BINGING.

YOU MOST LIKELY WILL FIND THAT YOU LOSE WEIGHT TOO, AND I HAVE HAD A NUMBER OF WOMEN TELL ME THAT THE WEIGHT THEY LOSE WHEN THEY START THIS APPROACH TO THEIR LIFE COMES OFF FROM THE ABDOMEN SECTION.

AND THIS IS BECAUSE YOU ARE ALSO LOWERING YOUR STRESS LEVELS, DUE TO EATING PROPERLY, AND THERE IS A DIRECT CORRELATION TO CORTISOL AND BELLY FAT.

THE 80/20 RULE IS ALSO A FANTASTIC WAY TO MAINTAIN YOUR CURRENT WEIGHT. AND IT’S SOMETHING YOU CAN TRAVEL WITH. 

IF THIS SEEMS TOO EASY FOR YOU, ADAPTING AN 80/20 RULE TO YOUR DIET AND FITNESS PROGRAM THEN I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU IF YOU ARE OPEN TO TRYING THIS TECHNIQUE FOR ONE MONTH. TRY IT AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL.

TRY 5 DAYS A WEEK EATING A DIET THAT CONSISTS OF HEALTHY FATS AND CARBS, ACCOMPANIED WITH CLEAN PROTEIN SOURCES, AND 1-3 LITRES OF WATER A DAY.

AIM FOR NO REFINED CARBS AND LITTLE TO NO SUGAR.

TWO DAYS A WEEK EAT WHAT YOU WANT. 

THIS WORKS AND YOU CAN MAINTAIN IT.

WHY DON’T YOU HEAR MORE ABOUT THIS? BECAUSE IT DOES NOT HAVE QUICK RESULTS. AND THIS IS A WORLD OF FAST RESULTS.

BUT IF YOU ARE TIRED OF BEING ON THE DIET ROLLER COASTER, THIS WILL HELP YOU STEP OFF. AND FOR GOOD. 

 

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